For most it starts as a list of places to visit in this vast and beautiful world of ours. For many, it goes well beyond that. I have seen lists that contain a very broad mixture of experiences and achievements such as sky diving, climbing Kilimanjaro, volunteering in Africa to riding a camel across the Sahara. I have also seen some that contain the desire to publish a book, complete an Iron Man in Hawaii, raise millions for a worthy cause, take a cooking class in Tuscany and to attend an Olympic event. The possibilities are endless.

My experience in leading many of my TEC members and coaching clients through this exercise has taught me how difficult a process this is for some and how easy it is for others. The biggest challenge is to timeline these and start putting next steps in play so that the items on the list become a reality.

We have recently had some acquaintances who have passed away much before their time should have been up and a few others who are struggling with some health issues at an early age. These events have, more than anything else I have ever experienced, shifted many of us to not only have the bucket list but to taking specific, tangible steps to make them real.

So here are some questions for you:

• Do you have a “Bucket List”?
• If you don’t, what would be on it if you did?
• Do you have a specific set of steps planned to make at least the top 2 or 3 items on your list a reality?
• If you don’t, what is getting in the way?
• What would you have to overcome so that you can start making these action steps happen?
• How would you feel knowing you could off and did not because you kept postponing it?

Some easy steps you can take today…

• Identify at least 3 “bucket list” items that you would like to complete in the next 2-3 years.
• Get a picture that would remind you of each of these items and display it where you can see it every day. It should be compelling and inspiring.
• For each item, make a list of the major steps that would have to be taken to make it happen. Visualize getting each of these steps taken. Overcoming whatever challenges would likely get in your way.
• Take the first step for each item.
• Enjoy the process….

As a leader, your role is to get other people to do what is required to achieve the goals of the organization. Your ability to make people feel heard is critical to maximizing their engagement and commitment to a decision. A human imperative: It is much more important for any of us to be heard than agreed with. If you feel heard, you than have the choice of either agreeing or disagreeing with the decision, and then you either commit or you don’t.

Recently I watched a clip from an Oprah Winfrey show where she basically said the same thing…”we all want the same thing…we want to know: Do you see me? Did you hear me? Is what I said have any meaning to you?”

So, next time you are about to make a significant decision that affects others, consider the following questions:

• Have I made it clear how the decision will be made (process)?
• Have I created the conditions to have the affected people feel heard?
• Do I have a plan to communicate the final decision in such a way that whether people agree or disagree with it, they can commit and get on with it?

Are you being heard? Hmmm

A few years ago I was part of the leadership executive team at Sun Microsystems in Palo Alto California. As part of an executive development and retention strategy, Sun hired the then coach to the US Olympic Ski Team and a local psychologist/organizational development expert to lead about twenty selected Directors & VPs on an experiential leadership program designed to help us understand our leadership styles and work on overcoming some of our challenges.

Part of the program involved climbing a face of a mountain at 8000 feet near Lake Tahoe California. So there I was, half way up, hugging the rocks, my feet struggling to get a footing, my hands bleeding from trying so hard to hang on. For what seemed like an eternity, I was not moving, stuck with no clear options for a next step and started to panic. The person holding on to my safety rope has never done this before. Below me on the ground and above me at the top of the climb, were many of my colleagues, all giving me advice as to what to do. Go left, put your right foot up a few inches, push up, find a crevice etc. etc. All I am sure very accurate but to me it was all useless at the time, just could not get going. I was hugging that rock face so hard, breathing very shallow rapidly and suddenly, the Ski Coach got my attention. He asked me to take a DEEP BREATH, TRUST the person with the rope and then to PULL AWAY from the rock as far as I can. Suddenly, I saw many options to how I could get up the climb and did it. So here are the lessons for me:

- Many competent and well intended people sometimes can be very accurate and totally ineffective in giving advice. The power of coaching when the right question is asked can be life changing.

- FEAR reduces your ability to think clearly; Taking a BIG BREATH helps to centre you and think better.

- It is wise to step back whenever we are stuck..for a minute..for an hour …for a day…Sometimes it is very wise to SLOW DOWN to GO FAST!

It is amazing to me how that experiential moment has single handedly enhanced my life. Whenever I get stuck now on business or personal matters, I have this instinct to stop and pull away to see the big picture and then I am able to come up with a way forward.

Are you stuck? Pull away from the rock and see what happens!

 The Disconnect

 Do you really know what your CEO wants and expects from you? If so, how do you know? If not, how do you find out? The gap between what CEOs want from their direct reports and what those direct reports think their CEOs want are often oceans apart. Of course, CEOs expect key executives to excel in their given areas of expertise and responsibility. Beyond that, however, it is not that cut and dry. Larry King, a colleague TEC Speaker and Chair has identified the following three things that CEOs desperately want from their key executives:

 1.    Clarity. In particular, CEOs want their key executives to have clarity in three areas:

• The CEO’s vision for the company;
• The company’s strategy to achieve that vision;
• The CEO’s expectations for the individual’s position and the outcomes he or she  needs to achieve.

Poor communication on both sides usually leads to a lack of clarity. Often, the CEO fails to communicate his or her expectations in these areas and the key executive doesn’t ask. The urgency of the day to day activities usually rob the CEOs and their direct reports of the time to sit down and have quality discussions about expectations. You have to force these conversations or in most cases they won’t happen.

2. Leadership. Leadership for key executives means stepping out of your comfortable, technical/functional role and expanding beyond the areas that got you to your current level of success. This requires exercising leadership on the management team you are part of and for the departmental team you head up. Caution: Don’t attempt to hide behind the attitude of, ‘I’m just the marketing manager’ or ‘I’m just the HR director’. And forget the ‘You’re the boss, tell me what to do mind set.’ CEOs want and need executives who aren’t afraid to step up to the plate and demonstrate some initiative and risk taking.

3. Generalized Problem Solving. Most key executives see themselves as specialists in their given areas. CEOs, especially in smaller companies without experienced management teams, want managers who can solve problems in many areas of the organization. Whether it’s increasing sales, improving quality, reducing inventory or speeding up receivables, look for ways to expand your scope of problem solving. The more you can contribute to the CEO’s job of removing obstacles to getting the job done, the more value you will have as a key executive.

Of these three areas, clarity is by far the most important. When you have clarity and alignment with your CEO, anything is possible. The good news is that gaining clarity on your role and expectations as a key executive makes it a lot easier to make strides in the areas of leadership and general problem solving.

Not coincidentally, the TEC’s Key Executive Program I Chair is specially designed to address these three areas. It gives our key executive members new perspectives, confidence and skills and provides accountability for all of the above – They do so by bringing meaningful issues to the table and sharing their own experiences and insights with their TEC peer group.

 A Wiring Problem

As my other TEC colleague, Walt Sutton puts it, “the disconnect between CEOs and key executives is a wiring problem”. He believes that most entrepreneurs are hard-wired very differently than their direct reports. In particular, CEOs spend much of their time out in the future, where very few people roam. They live in the world of possibility. They see what doesn’t exist and try to make it happen. In contrast, key executives live in the present, partly because that’s their nature but alsobecause that’s what they’ve been charged to do – run the company (or parts of it) in an efficient and effective manner. They see what already exists and strive to make it better. CEOs who fail to understand this critical distinction end up with unrealistic expectations for their key executives, which often leads to friction in the relationship.

 CEO’s sometimes feel that most key executives (and everyone else in the organization) just don’t get it; meaning they don’t see the world the way the CEO does. In my experience, they are correct. Most senior executives don’t get it. However, it’s okay because they’re supposed to focus on running the business today, not cast their eyes three years to five years down the road. Nevertheless, this can create a real gap between the CEO and management team. In fact, I see this disconnect as the biggest source of friction between CEOs and direct reports, both on a personal and job performance level.

 The solution to this dilemma is two-fold. First, both sides must understand that CEOs live out in the distance and key executives live in the here-and-now. Second, they must reach an alliance, the key executives understands and supports the CEO’s need to look into the future and develop the vision, because without it, the company will quickly die. In turn, the CEO recognizes and accepts that the highest and best use of the key executive’s time and attention is to run the company in the present. Rather than butting heads over who has the proper perspective, each side acknowledges the need for the other.

 Closing the Gap

The first step in closing the gap involves reconciling mutual expectations. The CEO’s job is to build the vision and the key executive’s role is to run the company day-to-day and moment-to-moment. The hard part involves integrating that understanding into every interaction. When the long-term conflicts with the here-and-now, it’s easy to forget that the company needs both points of view. The key to avoiding unproductive conflict is to formally recognize the different roles in every encounter. For example, when the CEO gathers the management team for a strategic planning session, start by going around the table and recognizing everyone’s role. When you meet individually with your CEO, begin the interaction with a brief recognition of the different roles each of you fill. Over time, it becomes ingrained into the culture. Eventually, “Why can’t you see things that way I do?” becomes, “I bring this to the table and you bring that; isn’t it great how we complement each other.” A simple but effective solution – once a month the CEO and key executive schedule uninterrupted time together. During this “direct report one-to-one”, the CEO and key executive discuss the following:

• The CEO’s short- and long-term expectations for the person and for the position;
• Developmental goals and objectives for the key executive;
• Any coaching, help, resources, etc. the key executive needs to get the job done.

Don’t sit back and wait for something to happen. If you aren’t getting clarity from your CEO,ask for it. Ask your CEO to write a success profile for your position and you do the same. Then get together and compare notes. This provides an excellent starting point for an ongoing conversation of how you and your CEO can work together more effectively. There’s nothing magical about the process; it’s very straight forward. But common sense is not necessarily common practice. You have to commit to making it happen.

How effective are your direct reports? Let’s take a very simplistic, however insightful look. Take a piece of paper, list your direct reports. next to each of their names place either a 6 or a 9. Before you do, let me explain the rules:

On a scale of 1-10 where 10 is reserved for a most effective direct report, you can only give someone either a score of 9 or 6 (not 7.5s etc). This is about how effective are they at getting the expected results in their current roles. If you think you have someone which is below a 6, then you must own up to considering whether you might be the problem, some tough love. 

Got your list done? OK, now think about the 6′s, they are either 6s who could become 9s over time and TERMINAL 6s who will not likely ever become 9′s in your opinion. Place a T next to their 6.

For the 6′s that can become 9′s, what is YOUR plan to help them get there as soon as possible? If you dont have a concious plan, what is that costing you and what would you need to do  to put the plan in place? 

For the terminal 6s, why are you tolerating their sub par performance? What is that costing you (I dont just mean financially, the costs could be in your own reputation for tolerating sub performance, time that you are spending “doing their job” etc). As the saying goes “we GET what we TOLERATE”.

Consider this, great employees usually quit their bosses, not their companies. If you have any 9′s working for terminal 6s, they may not stay much longer. Also, when you finally take action on your terminal 6s, most people in the organization will say..”what took you so long?”

I know some of you will react by saying this is over simplistic, they are some direct reports who you may say are 9s in most of their role and 3s in some aspects of the role. These are more complex and require a deeper look. As a start, consider what their 3 performance is costing you (again, not just financially) and your believes about whether additional knowledge, coaching or feedback may result in making these areas effective enough.

For the 9s, don’t get complacent. Help them understand what they need to learn to get ready for their next level. Help them ensure they only have 9s on their teams.

As we say in my TEC groups…”Hire Slow…Fire Fast” which is normally the opposite of what most of us do most of the time.

Your thoughts?

I believe this is a time that tests all of our leadership abilities in the workplace and in our personal lives. It calls on our abilities to be master “chief priority officer” to choose what is really most important to be done now and which can wait until 2010…on our ability as “communicators”…who do we need to recognize…reassure…encourage…empathize with…give permission to just be and let go of the day to day grind…and deal with those “difficult conversations” that would arise on all fronts of our lives as all those around us look for and expect us to be “available” to them at this time…physically and emotionally.

So here are some questions for you to consider:

Is the mix of activities and commitments on your calendar between now and the holidays right for what you would like to get done so that you can actually enjoy your holiday season? If not, what would you change? What is in the way?

Which difficult conversations, that if you had them now would make a big difference in your ability to have a more stress free holiday season? What is stopping you? What price are you willing to pay so that you dont have to engage in them?

How aware are you on how difficult this time of year might be for those you work with, family and friends? What could you choose to do or say that would be helpful to any of them at this time?

Just a few random thoughts…what questions and challenges are you facing at this time of the year…let’s talk them out…

These are extreme times. We’re all being subjected to extraordinary stress and scrutiny by everyone around us – our colleagues, our clients, our families,  our communities and ourselves. As a leader you are constantly being challenged to be more effective so that you can succeed in your business and at the same time enjoy the lifestyle you are working so hard for. Being a good leader of your business requires you to be a very effective CEO of your whole life – balancing your business priorities with those of of your family – health – community and self. This is at times is a daunting task – you may feel isolated, lacking some skills or the tools for getting the job done and for some a realization that the business and/or personal trajectory you are on may not get you to where you really want to go. Let’s engage in a conversation about becoming a better leader, making better decisions and living a better life.